Good job. really focus on your husband. His comment you "associate with apostates" is a bit concerning. Help him see you are just trying to be true to how you feel. To live with integrity is what you have been taught your entire life, and that is what you are exercising your right to do.
I have a few great responses here that just shut it down, but stop anything from going further.
I tell people, "I don't want to affect anyone elses faith negatively, even in error. So I keep my questions to myself. However for matters of conscience, I no longer attend meetings of Jehovahs Witnesses. that is all i am really willing to share without being in violation of my first rule."
This in my opinion is the perfect FADER statement. In essence....you are doing the right thing, telling them what they would like to hear. Elders think it won't apply to them, and you just repeat it to them as well and act like it does. :)
Your parents lost it, but it get heated. Give them a break. Speak to them, be vague. I told my mother the following just last week when she offered my the return to Jehovah brochure.....and she accepted it. Wasn't happy, but accepted it, and she visited me and her grandkids this week. :)
"Mom I remember when I was young, you told me we follow God, not men. And if anything God was saying was different from what that WT taught, then you would choose God. You gave me a sense of integrity and loyalty to god over men from a young age. Because of things I know to be true that you probably don't know, and because of the evolution of the religious structure and dogma in particular over the last 10 years, I feel like I have to do exactly what you taught me to do. Follow my conscience over men. That is all I am doing. (I left my agnostic leanings and rejection of the bible as authentic out of it.....its too much at this stage).
